"it doesnt matter how slowly you go up,

as long as you dont stop"

Not schooling and all pretty much makes you feel insecure.

But I don't regret making the decisions I made.

Having the whole year doing what you have passion for is simply exciting in a way that you don't feel time is againts you.

you have the freedom to indulge.

With the frequent guilt feeling that everyone else is one head ahead of you in this fucking race.

Although I do feel that I need more than 24hours per day just to satisfy myself with the things I wanna do in life.

There are so many things I so badly wanna do in life.

and so many ppl have said it to me

"While your still young,Do whatever you wanna do before you get old."

whoho! yes i do!

Currently I'm down with activities such as lifesaving,adidas,boxing,personal training and football.

there are more things I really wanna do.

Mum told me to slow down but dad told me to rev it up.

Personal training pretty much intensive and all.

To observe my other mates learning about the body parts.

and yes ive learnt alot of secrets when comes to losing weight and everything.

but putting it into action is hardwork and discipline.

and its not fucking easy.

especially in the malay society.

everything digested is oily.

and full of carbo.

At the beginning of the personal training class,I rmmbered so clearly that the other trainers notice i could work-out on heavy weights however they do mention that my muscle stamina is pathetic.

after the 3rd set of 20 my muscles are dead.

the other mates have good muscle stamina but unable to hit heavy.

then came the strength training.

i was tortured.

i rmmbered i vommitted like crazy on the first day of strength training.

my cardiac ability was horrible.

but i am glad i aint the only one who vommitted.

i went back home sored all over my body.

alot of others did too.

but as they say:

and then lifesaving.

it aint easy.it looks easy but it isnt.trust me on this.

lifesaving is so technical that u dono wads your fucking next move during a tense moment.

Haha. one good example.

Syam(rescuer): EH DOINK! are you okay?!

Nizam(casualty): argh!i cant swim back!

Syam(Rescuer):okay hold on I'm coming!!!

Nizam(casualty):faster! im drowing!

out of nowhere i did a slide-in and then an extended chin-tow.

wtF?!!

den coach lim scold me.

coach lim:eh you mabok isit?!

nizam:haha! kau mabok kape? you suppose to throw me the rope la doink.

Syam:*already paisey*

Coach lim:okay nvm change over.

I'm so used to physical action I yet to realize that i could do it the easy way instead of the hardway.

and then come boxing.

but at the end of the day.

you feel great.

you feel rejuvenated.

you feel your doing something useful.

you dont feel wasted.

I'm a malay.

Ive plenty of malay friends.

and i realise many of them have great talents but have yet to know how to exploit it.

many of which can sing.

can dance.

can fight.

etc. etc. etc.

yet,the common word.

its okay to lepak but 3 times a week?

nah i dont think so.

at the end of the day.

What you really want is up to you.

anybody can say ur opponents too fast,too powerful,too experience he gonna destroy you.

well fuck it i aint buying it.

its the test of the spirit and mind.

so therefore

right now.

I gonna hibernate.

tml a brand new day and yes i look forward to a fresh challenge.

peace out